Just when I thought I have forgotten how that felt...
It came back to me like it was yesterday.
I guess I pretty much can't forget.
Maybe because I still think it is possible to get together.
But what if.. What if, everything is already over over over?
I dreamt of him today. It made me think of the past, so so much. I missed him so so much. I wonder what is he doing?
I wonder if he has a girlfriend already? If so, how does she look like? Is she prettier than me? Well, she's definitely younger than me cause I'm older than he is.. Then (I know it's not on purpose) he sent me something in email (some facebook app, on invites...) which I usually dont' care at all.. But his name came up.. *click* on the freaking link!
I missed him dearly. :/
I want I want I want to go back to the past the mend all the wound, the clear all the scars, to do everything I can so I can at least have a chance with him. I want to be with him. Undo Undo Undo!
But I know it will be impossible. Being here and there, it's too far apart. Even if we did start a relationship, I bet it'll be me the only one pursue the relationship. But yea, whatever it is, it's never gonna happen. :(
And this fact made me sad, made me cry, made me hate my past self. Maybe this feeling is just because we never made it, it came to me, it felt like I wasted a good relationship.
Maybe this feeling made me reluctant to start another. Maybe this feeling, the feeling of something, hope... that we will be together sometime in the future... I want to fall in love, i thought i could, but I know i couldn't. because of this feelings I have. Lingering affection, lingering attachment. I want to be with him.
I guess I am still in fantasies. Wishing... Fairy tales......
But I know I need to keep telling myself that I can't! I can't because we're too far apart. We're not meant for each other. We're not... together anymore.
Stupid First Love.
It came back to me like it was yesterday.
I guess I pretty much can't forget.
Maybe because I still think it is possible to get together.
But what if.. What if, everything is already over over over?
I dreamt of him today. It made me think of the past, so so much. I missed him so so much. I wonder what is he doing?
I wonder if he has a girlfriend already? If so, how does she look like? Is she prettier than me? Well, she's definitely younger than me cause I'm older than he is.. Then (I know it's not on purpose) he sent me something in email (some facebook app, on invites...) which I usually dont' care at all.. But his name came up.. *click* on the freaking link!
I missed him dearly. :/
I want I want I want to go back to the past the mend all the wound, the clear all the scars, to do everything I can so I can at least have a chance with him. I want to be with him. Undo Undo Undo!
But I know it will be impossible. Being here and there, it's too far apart. Even if we did start a relationship, I bet it'll be me the only one pursue the relationship. But yea, whatever it is, it's never gonna happen. :(
And this fact made me sad, made me cry, made me hate my past self. Maybe this feeling is just because we never made it, it came to me, it felt like I wasted a good relationship.
Maybe this feeling made me reluctant to start another. Maybe this feeling, the feeling of something, hope... that we will be together sometime in the future... I want to fall in love, i thought i could, but I know i couldn't. because of this feelings I have. Lingering affection, lingering attachment. I want to be with him.
I guess I am still in fantasies. Wishing... Fairy tales......
But I know I need to keep telling myself that I can't! I can't because we're too far apart. We're not meant for each other. We're not... together anymore.
Stupid First Love.
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