Hassle Hassle Trouble Trouble

I have been thinkin (not a lot, just a little) when I am free..
What am I doing here?
I mean, I know what I AM doing here, pysically in the US, but what am I doing? Indulging in this unknown long distance relationship that I always have a feeling that this will never succeed?

Ok, I admit, I have always wanted someone to be with me.. Someone I can share everything with.. but now that I look back.. It seemed... troublesome..
I feel like I have a responsibilities.. Which might tie me down when I want to succeed. I want to successful. I think I am ready to sacrifice anything to get to my success. Of course, with dignity. :/
I'm willing to sacrifice to spend time with friends, and family. I am readily sacrifice my friendship as well. Of course, they understand (I hope). Even if they dont, who cares.. right? Friends come and go, I understand that.

Now that I am with him, it has only been, 3 weeks..? It doesnt seem to be as easy as it seems to keep the relationship going, when I am also part of it. I have to give something out in order to make it work. Two people have to work together to make it work.. right? Sometimes I just dont feel like telling everything or doing anything. Sometimes I just want to be alone. Sometimes I just want to disappear. Sometimes, I just want to run away from everything. :/
I just want to live my life like how I wanted, here, in the US.
I dont want the naggings, I dont want any arguements. I dont want any depressions because of this relationship nor anything bad/ sad things.. If it doesnt go well.. Mayb I should jus run away...? :(

This is troublesome. Maybe this is not the time for me?
Love can make everything works is a lie. :/ :/

Humans have feelings and emotions, unlike animals/ pet (pretty sure they do too). That is probably why I am so attached to animals because they do not ask for anything back for anything that is given to me. They would happily follow me around when I am back, waited for me.. when I dont pay attention, they will be there in a corner (probably a form of sulking. :P) and be happy when I play with them.

Humans feeling.. are hard to predict. I have to take care of their feelings, which sometimes I dont wan to do it. If I dont say it right, I will hurt them. :/ :/ :/
Love does not make everything works. Love is not everything in the world. :/ Which is... troublesome. :/

I am really starting to think I do not deserve him, I do not deserve his attention, his love or anything. I am not worth his time.. :/