Ok, I think I will make this post only visible to some ppl.. Cause this is my secret dark confession..I think.
Firstly, I confess, yes I am attracted to Him when we were 16/17! I am very attracted to him because of his personality and his intelligence! However, I know that he has a girlfriend outside of school, I never really dare to do anything more that might hurt our friendship. We were friends too, I considered him my good close friend. I don't tell him everything of course, but it really did feel great being next to him. Maybe I was young, who knows...
I remembered when we went to a school trip together, the best moment was when we were (all of us of course) enjoying the night scenery of fireflies. We took a boat into the middle of the river to look at the beautiful fireflies. I dont swim, so I was pretty scared for being in the boat. That was when we held our hands.. To me that was the best moment ever.
It felt great, good and I felt protected. Haha, I know, I am too big of a size to be protected by someone whos slightly taller than me.. He was gentle when we talked, he held my hand tight too.. But I know, that was only that night.. I doubt he remembers it too. He is still very happily with his girlfriend, Stella, right now, probably getting ready to get married..
However, I never regretted what happened that night. It felt great and I was glad it was nothing more. Of course I wanted more, but I seriously doubt he thinks of me that way.. But thankful, it was never more.
It is just my way of thinking.. I guess. I do not think he remembers this, but if he does, and if we ever meet again, it'll be awkward..
The second thing was when this guy friend of mine is nice to everyone.. However, when we were 15 years old, form 3, I remembered very well he didn't help with my projects... I know very well, I am not the type to be spoilt or like to beg ppl to help me with anything, unlike some other girls. There was once where I really had no clue, where I really know nothing about electricity circuit, I wanted to ask for his help because he was right in front of me! That guy, right in front of me, promised the girl that he'll help her with her project ( of course after hearing the girl begging for it). And so, I tried to beg him to help a little bit with mine, guess what! I was completely rejected!!! Haha, of course I felt sad! I mean, hey i'm a girl too, a friend of yours too! But whatever..lol. Now that I think about it, it makes me laugh..
However, aft form 3, i have no idea where it comes from, my girlfriend and i was known as rivals to compete for this guy... But all i care for is competition with this girl.
So after high school, we went to the same college ( unbelievable). We often hang out together and there was once when he gave me a ride so we can meet our high school friends together. We were in the car, when he wanted to take something out from the bag seat, I think I remembered it was his bag. He looked at me for a while, and suddenly, I felt that he wanted to kiss me, well, I know I'm probably thinking too much, but yes, that was how my feeling was! So, my first response is to ask, what???? He turned his eyes away, and there we go, nothing happened. Lol!! If he were to do that, I dont think I will reject him though, but only that he likes me, not because he thinks I like him, or that because I'm a girl...
The next time was when we went for a movie as a whole group, Pirates of the Carribean. I dont really like this movie to be honest, but I was persuaded to go with them. I was cold, he gave me his jacket. My parents called, then he put his jacket over my head and get into the jacket himself as well. Then we did that a few times, to chat, but nothing much happened after that.. I doubt good girl / boy friends do that right...? I mean I don't talk to him much.. Not especially the form 3 incident.. W have nothin much in common.. But.. Oh well..
I wonder if he remembers.. Lol, if he does, and we ever meet again (well we did, but no mention of that from both parties) it'll be awkward.
That's all the two guys with seecret attraction. Hahahha... For now.. Lol
